“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly - spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.”      

   Susan L. Taylor 

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The Issue With Pain

Updated: Jan 8

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All of humanity seeks out to connect with others based on likeness. It's natural, as we are designed to reproduce after our kind. Then, we also seek others who are most like us to find affirmation and confirmation in our existence, to experience joy and a sense of fulfillment. Concerning our functionality, as in purpose, this too is a good thing. In fact, even needful, to ensure our continued existence as a whole. So, this innate desire to link up with others who are like us is embedded within our design. It is coded in our DNA.

For the most part, all of life moves along this directional flow. We bob and weave, bend and extend perpetually along this axle. We even find ourselves going in this direction when it comes to dealing with the pains we encounter. We look for others who are experiencing likeness in our current struggles or kindred histories growing up. And while this may provide a sense of comfort to know that we are not alone in mishaps and struggles. Forging with others in this bed of unrest may not be as good for us as it sounds. It often leads to complacency, negligence, perpetuating cycles. In other words, we become stuck in our pain-likeness, keeping it alive, even idolizing it through glorifying our victimization. We begin to breed more of the same oppose to healing, health, wholeness, growth, maturity, overcoming, and ultimately victory.

I would like to offer a shift in our thinking, a different perspective, even a possible solution to some of the struggles we encounter. What if we focus on connecting through problem-solving as opposed to problems: seeking out those who can help us overcome and not just those who can connect, relate, or identify with experientially the same pain we have gone through or are stuck in. I am sure I’m not the first to suggest it and won’t be the last, but at least for as many that may read these words or hear it read, we can solicit and work toward this goal and share with as many people as we know. And perhaps eventually, it will become the new normal. By focusing on the problem, we are feeding it more nourishment to generate strength to reproduce after its kind in the form of cycles. We do not have to have the same problem or be so identified with the same problem to experience resolution, change, empowerment, and so forth. Let’s get past the “Nobody but me is going through this problem syndrome and understand that we all experience a plight of some sort. The bigger concern is, what are you doing about correcting it? We really don’t need to know the details of each others' stories. We need to know the details of the strategies we use to overcome!

"For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified." I Cor 2:2


So from now on, we regard no one from a human point of view [according to worldly standards and values]. Though we have known Christ from a human point of view, now we no longer know Him in this way. 2 Cor 5:16 (AMP)

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