“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly and honestly - spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.”      

   Susan L. Taylor 

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Who's Ego Anyway?


Sugarcoat, ego stroke, who's ego anyway? Baby choke, tantrum throw, show out any given day My oh my, why oh why does he have so much to say? Chatterbox in my head no rest even when I (want to) play. He goes she goes, oh no, now here we go again! They frown, all smiles upside down, (in this) no one ever wins Seesaw up down, merry go round and round Feel sick, this dizziness, makes my head hang down. Proud now, stride now, he thinks he has arrived now. Bighead, overfed, too much, way up in the clouds wow. Have it all, grab it all, leave none for the rest of y'all. Stand tall, how small, fool to think he'll "never" fall. Yes, rude even crude, too many tricks for yah dude. gather round, fans crowd, he comes with a big sound. Have it all yeah, not much we can simply bear Turning heads, they stop and stare, just to see his fashion wear. All alone back at home no one to prick or prod Not sure what to do, this feeling's rather odd. Be aware, unfulfilled, he brings you only pain. Living life in vain, ego's job is done, empty once again. -- by Kaladia. B. Chaney


This phrase came to mind as the lines of a poem begin to flow in my head on April 24, 2020, then again as we have been discussing marriage empowerment at my local church of attendance. It turned into a Facebook post for me in search of insight from anyone out in social media land who may have some weighted knowledge under their belt regarding the ego. Feel free to post a comment if you can contribute to the enlightenment of myself and others who run across this post and read it with an inquisitive mind.


Hi FBF, Are there any knowledgeable among you who can speak to the understanding of the ego? I hear a lot about this when it comes to men. I have also heard within the Christian arena that an acronym for ego is Easing God Out. Now in college, they taught us that both males and females have this wonderful little mechanism working within them. And of course, the great philosophers and forward thinkers have told us that this is the little chatterbox about the size of a peanut situated inside of the frontal lobe area of our brains is where all this carrying ons inside of us occurs.

And please know that that is strictly seeking information because I am a thinker, a realist, and a spiritually minded person who pursues wisdom, knowledge, and understanding in order to grow and become a better version of myself. I also understand that we must have faith in God as a believer and that it is impossible to please Him without it. This means that I am aware that all the answers to life are not solely in the bible - that all knowledge comes from God and has been poured out in the form of information in subject matter areas that are well beyond the 66 chapters canonized in the bible.

So with that stated. If the ego is understood as easing God out, why would I want to stroke this in a man or another woman, or even a child? It sounds like I am catering to their fleshly/carnal desires to feel significant - to feel like a man and so forth. I also understand that nurturing the psyche is a part of life because we all long to feel needed, loved, affirmed, belong, etc. I have always believed that this is to come from a genuine place to facilitate a sense of bonding and that you matter.

So, if I do not stroke (feed into) my husband's ego will he no longer feel like a man or significant in our relationship and so he will stop treating me nicely but will treat others nicely who do stroke his ego? If so, that is a lot of power to give a person over you.

Does this not sound like manipulation? I give you what you want to get what I want. And in the case of married couples, this only seems to be the case on behalf of the man. The woman's ego is not even factored in on his part is what I am hearing quite a bit of. Is this why men can listen and not hear us because we don't make them feel some kind of way or hold their interest?

What is it - God first then one another? For me, I understand that to mean my needs are equally as important and vital as yours. Unless there are some verses I missed on exceptions when it comes to her?

A good question I need to ask myself regularly as a spouse is how do I maintain relevance in my spouse's eyes without manipulation?

I just really need Jesus to hold my hand and walk me through this thing because I am experiencing an influx of questions or perhaps it's just my chatterbox working overtime. lol

Opinionated answers need not respond. Thank you in advance.

#DoNotBeAfraidToAskToughQuestions

#NorShouldWeMakeOthersFeelAfraidToAskThem

Blessings!


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